TheExpatJournals.com

Wondered while flying in if the Empire State Building was colored blue to indicate pride in being a Blue State or mourning for the outcome.

But, I’m not here to discuss politics, simply to say I missed Panama before I ever left and to say the contrast is something I would have never expected. Everything looked so dismally brown from the sky as we arrived in NY.

I miss the color, the flavor, the easy going attitudes, the greenery, the flowers, even the Spanish! I never thought the day would come that anywhere could have a stronger hold on me than NYC has had my whole life. But that day has come and Panama now owns my heart. And for that, I feel truly fortunate.

When I decided to move into Casco Viejo, everyone warned me not to. Inconvenient, dangerous, poor people who will steal your things, etc. I said at the time that my head steered me towards El Congrejo or Paitilla, but my heart wouldn’t let me. I have found that when I listen to that voice, the one below heart or head, the combination of both, I’m never steered wrong. I have never felt threatened in Casco Viejo. And I absolutely love living there. Nowhere else in PC would be as fulfilling for me. I’ve only been proved right so far. It is so beautiful and so interesting and so very colorful. There are no airs of pretension that can seem to exist in PC among the elite locals, however, like being in Panama put the politics of the US way on the backburner for me, so living in Casco Viejo puts all elements of snobbery or pretension out of sight and therefore, seemingly become non-existant as a daily influence on me. And I like that. I repeat what I recently said of Casco Viejo…I feel special living there, appreciative of how fortunate I get to feel living there in the same way I once felt that way about being a New Yorker. NYC has changed. I’ve changed. And now, I have what feels like home. And for that, I am lucky, blessed…whatever you want to call it.

One interesting quirk about Casco Viejo is that it truly is like being on the interior in many ways. We don’t have cableonda. There are no grocery stores, shops, etc. But like in a small town, if someone comes looking for me, almost anyone on the street can tell them where I am and frequently when I’ll be back. It’s almost bizarre and coming from a tiny town in SC, almost deja vu. And how odd that the lack of that and the total anonymity of NYC was one of the very things that made me feel so happy living there when I was younger. Now, I kind of appreciate that these folks know so much. Still not sure of how they know, but they know. One thing is for sure, they do not hesitate to ask where you’re going, how much it costs, or any other question that they are curious about. How and whether you answer is up to you.

Take care everyone. Can’t wait to be out of this apartment in NYC. It’s started to feel like a noose.