TheExpatJournals.com

So much has been going on and I haven’t been sharing it with anyone, not even doing any personal journaling these days. But I did have such a pleasant experience tonight. I got out of my work day, grabbed my new camera, took a couple shots off the balcony and then started unpacking my things that finally got here by boat. Errr….ship. YES! I have my paintings. Now, if I could just figure out how to open a 197 pound crate for my 3 most beloved ones.

Anyway, spent time unpacking, realized how late it was and went out to my favorite local spot for a bite…Cafe Neri. My neighbor, Jane, was there. Jane is a lovely British woman who might well be mistaken for an actress…without the ego. She works for the UN and overseas a Latin American Aids Prevention Program. Contract work. She leaves in July and I can’t believe it’s already been a year. She doesn’t want to leave.

We were talking about this neighborhood and one thing she said and HOW she said it reasonated in me. She said she was glad that she got to live here (Casco Viejo) NOW. We talked about how it had changed in a year and how it continued to change. As if on cue, this loud mouthed American (oh God, he’ll probably read this one day) walked by with his scantily clad, very high heeled Panamanian babe. One day at lunch, this guy went on SO LOUD and on and on and on. He bought property here. In Casco Viejo. He was doing this business and that business and blah, blah, blah. All fine and well, but must you speak at this level and totally ruin our lunch? It was so LA…and no Jay Lewis, I don’t mean Lower Alabama. Reminded me of the time a record exec I know named George got off a plane in Austin, TX where it was 96 degrees. He came out of the jetway with his cell phone (in 1991) glued to his ear and wearing a black leather jacket. Vanity insisted he keep it on rather than accomodate the weather, I suppose. And as the friend at the label I had to deal with on a daily basis said to me, “Think of him as a resource, not a source.”

I’ve heard there are plans for low income housing in this neighborhood and I applaud. Jane and I talked about how the colorful aspect of this neighborhood is the very soul of it. She was also talking to me about how she got really sick with a viral infection in her lungs. (Before you worry, she travels all over Latin America and is rarely even in Panama anymore.) She told me about how the owners of Cafe Neri and another neighbor were constantly checking in on her, bringing her special food they made, and even taking her to the doctor.

And I thought of my Panamanian friends and how amazed I’ve been to find the quality of relationships here so quickly. It’s like you’ve been invited into the family here. I am so lucky to have the friends I have. And Jane reminded me of how incredible the people here truly can be.

Jane also told me the story about the first time she ever went to NYC. She said they weren’t in the least bit familiar with a grid system (of streets) because no such thing existed in England. Hadn’t thought about it before, but she does have a point. So anyway, she and her friend just couldn’t grasp the difference between a street and an avenue, so needless to say addresses didn’t do them much good. Apparently never did find the museum they were looking for and instead, walked way too long into places that were scary. (note: Once upon a time, NYC could be scary….back when it had an edge.)

But the interesting part of this story to me, was that, while we both speak English, she told me the whole story in Spanish. And I understood the whole story in Spanish. Poco a poco.

And, by the way, though she is fluent in Spanish, I was relieved to hear that she, too, still has to pay attention while listening in order to fully grasp it and she, too, sometimes finds that just too tiring and completely checks out. Jane made another good point. When you ‘check out’ of a conversation in English, every now and then you can’t help but hear some of the words…there’s no way to completely check out if in proximity. But when it’s Spanish, somehow, you can just completely check out. I never expected it to sometimes be so tiring to just listen to people speak. But when listening intently…which I have to do to understand…it can get exhausting.

For the most part, I have completely stopped talking to cab drivers. They like to talk and once you start, it’s like it gives them permission to keep on going and going and going and… And sometimes, you need the mental rest. And that is perfectly okay and clearly, understandable to those who either are, or have been, in the same situation.

Poco a poco. Having said that, I feel like learning what I’ve learned will make taking a course all the more effective. It’s not starting from scratch. And I still have to at least see in my mind how something is written in order to retain it. Plus, I don’t want to simply be conversational. I want to read the paper and understand it. I want to respond to an email in Spanish and be able to write it. Poco a poco.