TheExpatJournals.com

I’m writing this on my last night living in Casco Viejo…for now. I’m taking a rather Zen approach about ‘accidentally’ taking the apartment in La Cresta. I said goodbye to Manuela today. I recently looked at the photo of her from last summer and boy has that girl aged. She went grey and now she’s white around her eyes. I told her that I had seen two Springer Spaniels being walked in LaCresta. Bet no one knows their names the way EVERYONE knows Manuela’s name around here. Springers seem very rare down here. From afar and as a result of Manuela, Susan GG up in Bocas provides me with a vicarious thrill of watching a Springer puppy grow up.

Last night, dinner ran so incredibly late. I feel like the folks at XOKO ought to start charging us rent! I swear, since I discovered a salad that’s never seems to be on the menu,yet is always available… well I could eat it every night. Ensalada XOKO…grilled zucchini, grilled eggplant, grilled asparagus (over a wood fire on the weekends…oh my God..the taste of fresh asparagus grilled on a wood fire is exquisite!), grilled onion, grilled pineapple, and various fresh veggies depending on when you’re there. All served on a bed of lettuce and accompanied by a puree of roasted tomatoe, roasted garlic, roasted onion, and roasted red and yellow peppers. $4.50. Truly remarkable! If I have that with either the tortilla de espanola (like an onion and potatoe quiche without the crust) or croquetas de pollo…it’s more than I can eat! And I swear, as good as anything I’ve had anywhere. I could keep going because I also discovered they have a GREAT steak. It’s called something like Palomillo and I’m told is something like a sirloin. They roast it slowly over the wood fire and last night, I had that served with the salad. I have run out of superlatives. Run, don’t walk to XOKO.

Okay, I’m hungry…sorry. Anyway, dinner ran late because this is a place where you can just go hang for hours with your friends. And we sure have. One friend had me in tears I was laughing so hard for so long. So there hasn’t been a lot of time to reflect on the bittersweet emotion of moving forward. I got over the fear…as I had said to someone, I have more fear of moving from Casco Viejo to LaCresta than I had of moving from NYC to Casco Viejo. I had been invited to a party, but as I drove into the neighborhood, it looked dark, so I came on home.

These women (some call them squatters, some call them poor people…I call them locals) behind me play cards until the wee hours every weekend. Just recently, they taught me the game. Still can’t remember the name, but it’s a lot like poker. They bring a couple of chairs out to the street, set up a handmade, dirty wooden table on the edge of the sidewalk and anyone else sits on the curb or the stoop and they play and play and play. They play each game for .25 cents and pool all the money all year long. It ends up becoming their Christmas fund. They buy for the kids, they have a party for the neighbors…if I had known, I might have lost a dollar a week for longer than 2 weeks!

It’s very sweet that the locals seem to think it’s awful that I’m leaving. Omar parks cars on the weekends out front for tips. He has offered to help me move for free. Says I’m a neighbor and can’t charge me. I had already set aside a boom box for him that I no longer need since my stereo arrived a few months back from NYC. I’m going to miss coming home loaded with groceries or something and not being able to grab someone to carry them upstairs for me. It sure has been handy upon occasion to have these guys to compensate in that manly chore sort of way. Especially Omar.

I couldn’t sit on the balcony as dusk settled in because lately, the mosquitoes over here are horrific at sunset. I get about 8 bites a day! Everywhere, so it’s not just me. Spoke with someone about it not too long ago who suggested I check standing water, like in plant trays, etc. Good advice, but nothing to be found. I had begun to think that perhaps they were breeding in my central air vent due to water from condensation. Apparently, though, I’m not the only one.

It’s Sunday night, the most peaceful night of the week over here. Normally, I relish the quiet with the sound of the waves washing ashore across the street. Tonight, it just seems like a haunting goodbye. This place has nurtured me, given me back my sense of awe, inspired me and introduced me to many, many people I’m so glad to have me or to know. Oddly enough, one of the things I’ve grown so accustomed to hearing is the sound of bats chirping at night. I love that sound! Every now and then I see one, but mainly, I just hear them. I hope they have bats in LaCresta.

Someone asked me today if there was a lot of vermin in Casco Viejo. They said everytime they drove into the neighborhood, they assumed as much. I can honestly say that I have not seen a single mouse, rat or roach for that matter in the year I’ve lived here. Bats and mosquitoes. We need more bats or maybe, it’s just that mosquitoes come out too early to be bat snack. Lot of water birds. As any of you who are bird fans know, Panama Bay is home to some rare types of water birds. Don’t ask me what they are, but I do remember reading about it when I was researching the birding around Achiote, which is, as one Audobon sight put it, ‘the mecca’ of birdwatching spots in Panama. Grackels are always present on the Union Club and it has been a pleasure to watch their behavior up close and personal. They can be quite loud in the morning but I’ve now captured a couple of shots with their neck craning straight up in the air, beaks pointed skyward. That’s what they do after they ‘call.’ And I’ve watched the cyles of pelicans breeding in the flamboyant trees between the Union Club and the entrance to the Paseo. And they are finally replacing the fencing that formed the arbor of verenera on the Paseo.

When I wrote my first two journals and posted them on the big boards, I ended up getting 250 emails and an offer to have a book published. I didn’t take it because…well, I can’t tell you why not. I move in a somewhat irrational, very intuitive direction which can, upon occasion, equal reckless, but is certainly never boring. So, to the contrary, I sort of shrunk from i all and opened this board. And you came here with me and gave me more than I could ever offer up with these little journals of mine.

I’m gonna go take one last walk around the Paseo tonight. Not that I can’t hop in a taxi and head over here anytime I want, but somehow, there’s a part of me that feels like it felt when I tried to leave NYC the first time…like I felt as a child on a car trip. I just hate watching it change without witnessing the change…like I’m going to feel left out if by missing something. This place has given me what I keep referring to as a second childhood. Everything is a big, brand new adventure! I think I’ll have the isolation I seem to need right now over there, but never in a million years can I imagine feeling special simply because of where I live. And there was something about NYC that did that for me. And there is definitely something about Casco Viejo that can do that, too. Granted, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but to me, that’s the good news. Gotta stop now. Might cry. Still have some packing to do. Still need to walk around and soak it up as a resident one more time.

The first time I went back to NYC after being here for 3 months, I woke up early and walked around the Paseo before anyone else got out there. I was trying to soak up every bit of it to take with me. I carry that morning with me. It’s a part of me as is this place and as will be this night.

Take care everybody.