TheExpatJournals.com

If all proceeds ahead, I’ll be moving back to Casco Viejo at the end of this month. La Cresta sucks! I now have a new comparison to NYC…this place is a mini version of the upper east side…without any of the conveniences. I think of the Robin Williams line about the Upper East Side in the Fisher Kings. To put it into context, the holy grail was apparently hidden there and he said (and I paraphrase from memory…long ago at that), “Who knew there was anything Divine on the upper east side?”

Can I just repeat, La Cresta sucks. My apartment in La Cresta sucks. Thank goodness for mini trips. And that is the coolest thing about Panama. In no time, you can be somewhere Divine. No wonder the NYC skyline started looking so drab, so brown, so grey…it is!

Last week, I went up to my friends’ new house up in Bocas. It’s on the north end of the main island. When they bought the property back in ‘97, it was a two hour horseback ride through the jungle to see it. They had to build a 6 mile private road through the jungle to get to the Atlantic where their new house is perched atop a small hill. A river runs out of the jungle next to the property and forms a wonderful freshwater lagoon which is separated from the ocean only by a small sandbar.

The house has an outdoor shower! It is so cool. You step out through double glass doors from the bathroom sinks and there’s a large arched wall on the other side with a double shower, private, but completely open. Standing under the warm water on a cool night with stars above was sensational! At first, I wanted to feel a bit self-conscious because it seemed so odd, but this place is so isolated that no one is around to see. And the tile on the floor was so insanely beautiful that I was in awe! It’s mined (from caliche I assume) coral so that you look down, you are standing on smoothed brain coral, etc…like standing on fossils. Truly a work of art and apparently purchased here in Panama City.

The place is almost a glass house. It has 69 windows (Wonder if that was the architect’s sense of humor?) with the entire front being sliding glass doors with windows above. No internet. No telephone. Solar power. Not even cell phone reception. Truly a magical spot! I felt honored to be their first guest.

Oh, and I was especially intriqued with the DC refrigerator. Made apparently by only one company in the US, the thing wasn’t even cold on the outside and is like a laminated wood box. They had also acid washed the concrete floors, something I had researched at one point, but had never seen in person. They were beautiful! My friend had managed to get these perfect shades of celadon green amid the rich swirls of amber and brown, a green almost the color of oxidized copper. He got it by mixing in Miracle Grow. Impressive.

I walked barefoot on a jungle path that mostly ran by the ocean, but at times was just jungle and at one point, I even had to climb through a bit of a caliche cave. The isolated beaches were magnificant golden sand. I must admit though, it felt a little risky in that kind of isolation to be out in the ocean alone. You know in spots like that that if anything does happen, you’re pretty much screwed with no one around. Used to do it in my youth…back in my 30’s. I remember once climbing on the sharpest volcanic rock above a seemingly treacherous sea way out a road so mangled by hurricanes that no one could use them anymore. In Mexico. Only later did it occur to me that, one slip, and I would’ve been in bad trouble to say the least. Now, beyond 45, I feel a bit more cautious I think.

Still, what a spot and what fun to just explore and get lost in the moment. I keep saying living in Panama is like being a kid again. It is. At one point in Bocas, I even made the comment about how fun it is to just get as wet and dirty as you wanna get. (And I do mean mud, sand and water to you bleacher creatures, so be nice boys.)

And, btw, in Bocas, I learned that pigs loved noni. Even noni rotting on the ground. Its taste has such a bad reputation that I’ve never even bothered to try it. And I saw an okra tree, not a vine, not a bush, a tree. Thing is at least 10 feet high. The strangest thing was also true…I did not get a single mosquito bite nor any other insect for that matter and I wasn’t using bug spray. I must get at least 4 bites a day up in here in La Cresta. Does that pay for my artistic license to say one more time, La Cresta sucks?

Bocas was great. It was so isolated where I was that it actually felt akin to culture shock to come back into town. And it’s not like town is some huge metroplis, though it has changed a bit since I was there a year ago. Shops have been renovated and the place seems less run down looking. Lots of new construction. The gourmet grocery store moved into a pretty little gingerbread cottage and still sell the best chocolate I’ve ever had in my life. Handmade, organic chocolate bars that taste like roasted bean, are very sweet, but do not have the creamy fat we’re accustomed to in chocolate. Amazing stuff.

Had a guy cared to death on the plane on the way home because he understood (and focused on) the radar. He starts tellin those around him, myself included, that on the radar, green equals turbulence, yellow is ‘malo’ and red is ‘muerto.’ I told him, in Spanish, that muerto is not a word anyone should ever use on a plane. I also asked him if he was always this afraid of flying and he said he wasn’t when it was calm, but he knew what that radar meant and grew more and more afraid. And Panamanians can be demonstrative people. The American girl behind me suggested that he sit in the back of the plane next time so he doesn’t have to look at the radar. I told him that was a great idea as I didn’t even feel any turbulence so he went through all of that just based on the fear of it, not it actually happening.

God, don’t we all do that? React to the fear of what might happen rather than waiting to see how it unfolds. A little bit of trust goes a long way, but so does a little bit of fear. I kinda think it’s out of my hands when I’m on a plane, so why bother worrying until the plane is speeding towards the ground in a way that’s worrisome? On the other hand, as I said above, I didn’t venture out as far into the sea as I would need to go to see if there was visibility in the rainy season either…which to me is the difference between being cautious and being afraid. And just because I’m an obnoxious recovering Yankee fan, I can’t suppress the urge to say one final thing: La Cresta sucks.