TheExpatJournals.com

Once upon a time I found this unknown band in Tempe, Arizona called The Gin Blossoms.  Yes, people around town knew them, but that was about it.  I was instantly smitten.  I stuck around Tempe a few days to get to know them better and to see if maybe we might work together.  There was another band from Tucson that had signed to an independent label in NY who were also trying to help them a bit…no longer remember their name.  They had a little local EP at the time and my name was added as their management contact when they produced the next round of those EPs.  And I got to work. 

First, I called a lawyer I thought I wanted to work with in LA to say he should get on a plane and go see them since Tempe was so close.  Gene S., up and coming music biz lawyer.  Seemed like a nice guy you could trust. Then I called Aaron J., a friend, and also spoke with Brian H., both at A&M, about them.  So Brian talks to Gene, Aaron doesn’t pursue it and voila! they are signing with A&M.  Gene decides to do one of his real friends a favor and me?  Like an idiot, I had no contract with the band, just a verbal agreement and, oh, yeah…I got them a lawyer, a record deal and into SXSW as an unsigned band.  So no longer obscure, now they don’t need me and the only paper trail is my name on their self-released EP, various faxes, and a long phone bill trail, etc.  The lawyer screws me, short story.  Band signs with bigger management.  Then, the f**er tries to get out of even paying me expenses owed.  I could have really held them up and made a claim against their advances, but decided to move on…just pay me expenses (phone, tape copies, some travel, etc) they owe me.  At this point, in spite of what I had done for them, they had not yet paid me one dime.  Now the lawyer wants to screw me out of expenses.  That tipped it for me and I threatened to pursue the case I knew I could have or he could just accept my gift of being willing to walk away by simply paying me what they owed me.  He did.  They went on to platinum success with that first record and then proceeded to fade mostly into obscurity.

They had a guitar player in the band who was definitely a bit crazy and probably the biggest talent in the band.  Having some money enabled him to truly develop an ever bigger drug problem.  Looking back, I would bet he was bipolar. Doug.  Wrote most of the stuff that put them where they went.  They decided he was no longer an assett and they could do just fine without him.  So they fired him. Never had another hit after that.  Doug killed himself.  Someone later wrote that without Doug, they were just a cover band doing Doug’s songs.

Seems to me, it was primarily Jessie’s ambition, greed and willingness to trample all but those he perceived would lift him into the world of super stardom he so craved, a sentiment so common among young bands, it is a cliche.  Robin, the lead singer, was a bit more of a passive bystander in the dynamic, at least early on.

So, being less than a perfect human being, I must admit something akin to satisfaction was the emotional bed as I read the responses to an announcement that the Gin Blossoms will be heading an annual festival in Minneapolis next month.  Most responses were mockingly negative, such as:

How about Morris Day & The Time?

That would rock! Gin Blossoms would be cool if this was 1992 and I happened to be in the early stages of dating a girl who loved the Gin Blossoms. I could fake interest in them for that. "Yea babe, these guys rock." A piece of advice for the Gin Blossoms - Open with Hey Jealousy, close with hey Jealousy, and do Hey Jealousy a few times in between.

Sure, Gene S. being a lawyer, has carried on with his career. Music biz lawyers (and lawyers in general) aren’t called sharks for nothing, though they are much more harmful than the real thing. I think there is something young ambitious artists never, ever could envision (Sheryl Crow being one of the very few exceptions I can think of) and that is this:  Lawyer jokes exist in abundance for a reason.  I once moderated a legal music industry panel at NYU and my opening began, "There’s good reason Shakespeare once wrote, "Kill all lawyers." Do artists really think any lawyer is going to put their interests above a multi-national that will produce income for them for years to come?  Artists do not realize their shelf-life, particularly where relationships are concerned.  I remember after Natalie Merchant fired Peter Leak (who had lifted her up from obscurity), a friend of mine who toured with them made this statement:  "Everyone should have bad management at some point to help them appreciate good management."

Se la vie.  This is what’s up these days with the band who screwed me.  Sure, life gets tough sometimes and God knows I’ve been through my share of trauma, but I could not help thinking as I read this Gin Blossoms thing this morning that I am where I am and they are where they are and I would really much rather be where I am.  I mean, I just got back from 2 weeks of diving in the Galapagos, a place I have the pleasure and honor of getting to know with frequent trips, a place that I have described (being the lingo I know best) as the rock star of destinations.  I spent over a week having 3 meals a day, spending 8 hours a day on a boat together with 3 strangers who were like family by Day 3.  Imagine?  A week and not a moment of tension, just shared laughter, knowledge and a passion for diving.  In the Galapagos which are on the top of every dive list in the world!  Great company, great diving…everything smooth and wonderful… It was the most amazing trip of my entire life even though I was working!

An old friend once told me I reinvented myself more than anyone he knew.  I never forgot that because it concerned me at the time.  I managed bands then did the high school marketing, married, divorced, left NYC for the country only to be lured back by the rhythm and options only possible in NYC.  Others were certainly more stable…married, one job or at least linear movements in the same field.  Me? I seemed to be quite restless.  I think that after losing the band love of my life (Scarce) to Chick’s brain hemorhage, I knew, I would never feel that way about a band again, so the ‘point’ was lost for me.  Anything else would be trying to re-create something that could never re-exist.  So I moved on and for many years, worked only for money in a setting void of passion.

I was speaking to Teresa (signed Scarce, biz partner in marketing for years and my friend for the past 15 years) at length yesterday.  I had said to her a few months back that I do not think I’ve enjoyed my work this much since Scarce.  After this focus on diving in the Galapagos and after our initial dive program, I can now say I’ve never enjoyed work this much period.  I am obsessed and driven in a way that I have only felt for either a band or a man.  Diving.  Diving in the Galapagos.  No, I don’t want to dive every day…it would get old.  Yes, I want to promote and sell as many dive programs as possible so I both earn a living and get to dive regularly.  And the trip is so incredibly extraordinary, that I do not have to ’sell’.  Like a band I once loved who had so much success before a brain hemorrhage became their brick wall, I don’t have to sell…I just share my genuine enthusiasm.  It is THAT good.  It is the most special trip in the Galapagos anyone could have in my opinion.  I do just think that is true…I experienced it.

There is NO BETTER trip in existence in the Galapagos for divers.  Well, if you were to have a Wolf/Darwin extension of 4 days from Isabela, that would then be the only trip anyone would buy and deservedly so.  Having said that, the only reason people are going to pay for the incredibly expensive live-aboards is to go to Wolf and Darwin, inaccessible otherwise.  And truth be told, for half the year, it is so not worth it.  Without the currents and without the whale sharks of Darwin/Wolf, diving is better at Gordon Rocks, or at least, a far superior value relative to money spent.  I mean, I swam a meter away from a whale shark at Gordon Rocks this past Friday and the folks coming off the $5K a week Agressor had only sighted 2 whale sharks. This trip had freedom and flexibility that you are never going to find anywhere else.

I’ve spent enough time out there at this point to know what’s great, what’s good, what’s boring and what’s magical. I know who the best is to work with and who to avoid, at least in the context I need to know.  And this debut program was a dream.  Everyone else felt the same.  I could never have imagined being thrown into such close proximity with strangers only to feel sad to say goodbye.

Yes, I would rather be here than managing some has been band playing state fairs and being made fun of for bothering to even stick around.  Sometimes, there is justice in life.  It just may take awhile.  Even my cyber stalker attacker in Panama who has wronged so many had a heart attack.  Fate does have a way of meting out its own brand of justice that requires no assistance from us.  I made a decision a long time ago that became a way of life.  What people do they have to live with long term even if short term it spills into my life.  No need to retailiate, just protect yourself from them the best you can and turn it over to the hands of fate to deal with.  To me, that’s about building good karma, keeping your side of the fence clean, or whatever philosophical terms one chooses to express the same sentiment.

I did have two things happen on this recent trip that made me think that perhaps my karma was pretty good…in addition to the trip being so absolutely incredible from top to bottom.  One morning at the busy Canal dock, our things were being passed across ferry top to ferry top to boat captain to our boat.  I realized a bit later, my good Canon DSLR and two new pricey lens all in a dry bag were not on our boat.  Since I was the tour escort, it was not possible to react in front of guests, so I got to be totally chill about it.  In reality, there was nothing I could do from Gordon Rocks anyway, so no point in ruining my diving or anyone else’s with bad energy.  So I simply wondered if it would be my lucky day or someone else’s?  And then I let it go. I got my camera back that night with everything intact.  Seems one captain thought it belonged to someone on his boat, but later realized his mistake and returned it.  Amazing.

I had gone to the ATM in Puerto Ayora and the safety deposit box in my room was shut, so I stuck $400 in a small, prominent exterior pocket of my suitcase with the intent of moving it to the safe after I got Reception to open the safe.  I forgot about that money until about 5 days later.  By now, it had been put through 2 inspections and traveled to Floreana, Isabela and back to Santa Cruz without me.  All you had to do was open the pocket (which I assume happened during inspection as it usually does) and the money was right there, totally visible.  Now, I don’t know if I should credit the cosmos or Mariano at Red Mangrove, but long story short, my money was miraculously still there.

I do not say this lightly: this trip changed my life…literally.  I now am driven to be as strong as possible so I can be the best diver I can possibly be.  I’m 50 now.  Even the divemaster was surprised that I "never ran out of energy", especially given the fact that everyone else was either 20 years younger or extrememly fit.  It’s because of how much I loved what I was doing. As amazing as the Galapagos are above water, when combined with the underwater Marine Park, only then do you see the full majesty of the Galapagos.

One diver, a pro who is a dive travel agent, said amongst his ‘ilk’, they never bothered with the Caribbean because it is considered a biological dead zone.  So few places on earth have the undersea abundance the Galapagos has to offer.  Indeed, hammerheads, Galapagos sharks, white-tipped reef sharks, silkys, rays, rays and more rays: Eagle rays, marbled rays, diamond rays and if you’ve never had a giant manta ray flying a few feet above your head…oh GOD you don’t know what you’re missing.  I love the walls of salemas that are so thick, from a few feet away the only sign of a diver in their midst is the bubbles ascending.  Abundant schools of yellow-tailed sargeant fish, barracuda, grunts, gringos, snappers, tuna and so many, many more.  I love staring at a hammerhead so close I can see markings on his/her skin.  I love seeing the same in dolphins.  I love the ride of a good current, the macro life, the giant seahorses, the beautiful swaying fans of (yellowish green) black coral. Perhaps more than anything else about the Galapagos is that I love it for the same reason I always loved New York City:  the POSSIBILITIES , the unpredictability and the perpetual ability to learn more and more and more.  It is as unique as NY used to be when it still had true art and edge, before the investment bankers ruined it along with the US.

And, of course, it is great exercise that enables you to fly weightlessly by undersea mountains or above undersea pastures where turtles graze on mossy green plains. You literally get to fly in this sci-fi like world!  And being a woman is not a physical disadvantage, on the contrary, once you improve your diving skills, on the whole, women are capable of using less air than men.  Granted, if you’re not in good physical condition, you will still use more air battling currents, but if you are…this is one place where men do not have the upper hand.

No, right now, I feel like the luckiest person on earth. I do not take any of it for granted for one moment and I thank the powers that be for urging me forward even if sometimes that meant it took trauma for my sometimes stubborn nature to listen.