TheExpatJournals.com

In what I have realized is an ongoing battle against nature and the elements, I have opted to surrender to aspects that previously fell into the category of never ending. And as someone recently said, I am learning which weeks I do NOT want to even be here next year. I beg to differ…next year, I think I’ll skip the entire month of April. Mayflies….swarms of them looking like termites or winged ants that you also get the privilege / curse of watching grow over the course of about 3 weeks. Just like watching some of the neighborhood kids, only in fast motion, these things at least triple in size, though fortunately, diminishing in numbers as the weeks pass.

Nevertheless, vaccuming dead may flies becomes a daily ritual. And forget about sitting by a window with a light on at dusk or in the evening. I did it once and suddenly realized maybe a couple hundred were beside my lamp. I had barely noticed those I needed to swat away, so it seemed like they gathered in numbers in no time. Spray Lysol takes the place of any other more toxic ant/roach/bug killer that comes in a can in my book. I have found it kills as effectively as Dos Tigres or Raid or anything else. It also smells much better and perhaps it’s only pyschological given it’s actual deadly impact on my winged or crawling inhabitants, but it just seems ‘healthier’ to use…like it would be okay to have on my skin when Raid wouldn’t.

I do my best not to scare or be scared by the geckos. Not that I find them scarcy, mind you, but recently, I sat on my toilet and apparently interrupted a gecko who had popped in for a quick sip or afternoon dip or whatever. Unfortunate timing, really, because given the fact that I’m not accustomed to reptiles in my toilet and of course, any time a gecko is spotted by a human within striking distance, they scurry rapidly for cover. In this case, the only cover was under the lip of the toilet. So now I’m left to drive him out with the toilet brush and that’s not working, just driving him in circles with a little loop upon occasion towards the water that let me know he was still there. And I’m just not interested in sharing my toilet with a reptile. My kitchen, living room and any other part of the bathroom, okay. But you have to draw the line somewhere and so I was left with no choice but to take the easy way out and flush him down. Which, of course, left an impression that equals a habit of checking first now.

I used to say that I was amazed by how I had adapted to the heat here. It’s taken a long time for me to realize that I never actually adapted to the heat, I simply got used to sweating. It’s no longer limited to the realm of effort or exercise…it is the norm if it involves any kind of movement. Maybe it’s good and maybe we end up sweating out a lot more toxins than we did when we lived in a cooler climate, but maybe here, we have a lot more toxins to sweat out.

I hear it’s DDT they spray with the trucks rolling through the charming cobblestone streets of my neighborhood. Beyond pregnancy, I dont’ remember other ways that might be bad for you and since childbearing is so not an issue for me, nor could I change how they spray it if it were, se la vie. What I do know is that it doesn’t dent the number of mosquitoes that share my living space on a daily basis. I live behind a restaurant that won’t do anything about their ice machine or drain that constantly provides my local breeding ground with the necessary standing water. The Health Department doesn’t seem to care and I’m not willing to pay a couple hundred a month to do it myself. Maybe someday I’ll wish I had as the 3 weeks of hell I went through with dengue in September is not something I care to repeat. And yes, I could go to Pricesmart for an industrial can of oil to use on a daily basis in the small drain, but it’s the rainy season, meaning that would become a daily task and either I’m too lazy, too busy or don’t care enough about potentially life threatening diseases to deal with it alone. But I have invented my own means of dealing with it.

Mosquitoes love dark crevices…under my desk is a particular favorite. So each time I walk over, knowing I’ll disturb them, I carry my can of Lysol spray…zaps ‘em dead every time I can see them. And that’s the real tricker. They fly away so fast that getting more than one can be impossible and once they’re more than 2 seconds away, they turn invisible. Upon occasion, I have walked around with an incense stick in one hand (they HATE smoke) and the Lysol can in the other. It’s usually a way of taking out frustration from other sources that inspires me to resort to mosquitoe hunting.

I can spray myself daily with Deep Woods Off, but they seem to have radar for that 2 square centimeters I missed. So, I’ve found the best thing I can do is wear long pants and sit directly in front of a fan as I spend the many hours of my life each day in front of this computer screen. Granted, I must be positioned just so in order for the air to flow properly around the baffle that is my laptop computer screen because I’ve seen the results of improper air flow creating a nice landing strip on my left arm. Fortunately, they’re so lightweight that, properly positioned, the fan does the trick. They keep trying to come in for their landing, but the air currents are just too strong, so they’re swept up and away from my bare arms. I have a good floor fan, a metal Hampton Bay. As long as my legs are covered and I keep the fan close enough, I have my toxic free mosquitoe repellent. And the best perk is no big electric bills either! (Though I do use AC in my bedroom each night and rarely see bugs in there, so..) Oh, and I learned that it’s not very prudent to spray Lysol in an air current unless your eyes are well covered.

Have a friend in the jungle who recently had to fire her help only to then have to feed the dogs and chickens herself. I was out for a visit recently and she laughed at how she has become like the Pied Piper to the baby chicks. I realized I felt the same way about mosquitoes in my apartment. They seem to follow me whereever I go.

And the ants! I’ve spent lots of time tracing the path to see where they arrive and then lots of time drawing the lines with what I call Chinese death chalk (known in the stores here as tiza para cucarrachas y hormigas) and what I have come to believe is perhaps simply boric acid in chalk form, however, all that effort doesn’t seem to diminish the constant immigration, plus, the larger than those so-tiny-they’re-practically-invisible-whirlygig-motioned ants seem immune to the stuff anyway. They crawl right over those lines and even over small chunks of it. I’ve dipped a cleaning sponge in vinegar and water to wipe down kitchen counters and around the kitchen sink, but still, they seem to feel they have as much of a right to be there as I do. They scurry around in my kitchen while I prepare food and I sort of ignore them unless they come too close or get in my way at which point, the sentence is death for crossing my invisible boundary.

And of course, as I sit in front of the fan seeing mosquitoes blown about on the periphery, every now and then, somehow an ant has also managed to crawl on my leg or arm and that is an immediate death sentence. Once upon a time, I was quite opposed to killing insects in the apartment, preferring instead to simply toss them out a window. That was in NYC where I got as many insects in a year as I get here in a day or two. I no longer have insect compassion. Not even for bees or spiders these days. I’m still smoking, so usually, a cigarette or my hunting tool-a stick of incense-serves to drive them right back out the window. I’m not too interested in tangling with them for the most part and do find it interesting that, unlike mosquitoes, the fan seems to cause bees to sort of dive bomb rather than the air current pushing them away. It’s like, “I’m above you hovering, hovering, trying to get closer, hovering, hovering…kamikazi!” But their strength certainly kicks up a notch the minute you blow smoke on them. That air current is no longer a factor in the least and with smoke, they’re so outta here.

I sort of gave up as I sometimes watch the ants on their invisible path across my living room floor. There are never way too many, never any sort of solid path of ants, just a consistant pathway for what seems like the occasional journeyman hormiga. And yes, I even Lysoled and hand scrubbed every inch of tile in here in hope of that helping, but to no avail. So as I said, I’ve just given up and learned to somewhat co-exist. I realized that I would spend way too much time trying to kill what must be an army with endless reserves and as long as the party doesn’t grow out of hand, okay I get it…my living room is a servidumbre and my kitchen counter is the beach.

But today, I had to draw the line. When activity increases enough to pull my eye away from the computer screen, well let’s just say it’s not so easy to accomplish. I noticed movement, paid attention and damned if this little group of the bigger ants wasn’t carrying a dead bee across the floor towards the kitchen! I might have left it alone in the other direction… like the time I gave the rat the opportunity to crawl back out the window and he did…but bringing him into my kitchen? Ayyyiyi. Does this mean they’ve built a home inside? Are there nests underneath my kitchen cabinets?

So I grab my can of Lysol with ant genocide on the brain. Does the trick yet again and now, after it’s dry, I’ll just vacuum up the bodies. But it makes me realize I must find the time and the correct sealer to deal with any cracks between my windows and the wall, around the kitchen cabinets, etc. I’ll get to it right after they pull up the tile and jackhammer the laundry room floor to find out why water is leaking up through the concrete. This building was renovated in 2000 and apparently, any leaks underneath the concrete were only warranted for a year after construction. No surprise there, but what is a surprise is that I’ve grown so used to it all that it doesn’t seem bad or even negative…it’s just how it is.

Yeah…some days I probably take the right things out on the wrong people, but most of the time, I’m chill beyond my own recognition. It’s like co-existing on two planes…there’s my time,which is limited to what indeed is in my control, and there’s Panama time. And to get frustrated on Panama time is like borrowing trouble. It’s a cultural difference I may never get used to, but one I certainly get to learn to live in. It ain’t about to change and either I change in the face of it or suffer what amounts up to self-inflicted frustration torture in the form of frustration,anger and the like. Either way, I’m still dealing with stuff in Panama time. Might as well get used to it.

And ps..the best thing in the world to take the itch out of a mosquitoe bite is to dab it with spit…that’s saliva for the more genteel sensibilities.

Leslie…currently watching mosquitoes eddy in the current